Magical Flags

Whatever happened to fact-based reality?

“In my heart,” umpire Tim McClelland said, the Yankees’ Nick Swisher left third base too early on a fly ball out. In the words of a philandering husband caught red handed: “Are you gonna believe me or your lyin’ eyes.” At least the husband cited an organ with the power of vision.

Then Mr. Napoli, the catcher for the Angels of Anaheim, tags two dolts, Messrs. Posada and Cano, each inexplicably looking at third base, not standing on it, and Mr. McClelland only calls one out. How hard can it be to enforce the rule that while the ball is in play a runner not on a base can be tagged with the ball and ruled out?

This malady is not confined to professional sports. The Southeastern Conference seems determined to keep Florida and Alabama undefeated with blatantly wrong calls against their scrappy opponents. Just this past week, Lane Kiffin, the brash head coach of Tennessee, justified his decision to run down the clock and not run another play before going for a game-winning field goal against the Tide because he didn’t want “a magical flag” to appear. It was blocked by a ‘Bama behemoth who yanked his helmet off in celebration, which should have resulted in a penalty and a re-kick, according to rules aficionados.

Those weighted yellow hankies flying haphazardly through the fall breeze and the decisions of old men in blue with questionable cognitive skills remind us that to expect a fair outcome is to believe Bernie Madoff had Faustian powers to bend the stock market to his will.

To expect perfection is delusional, but necessary. Is it right to howl when one has been jobbed? Of course. Don’t basketball coaches “work” the refs to get a favorable call down the line?

Mr. Kiffin of Tennessee, though reprimanded for his comment, has sent a not so subtle message to the SEC officiating crews that they better not be seduced by the glamour teams. The age of extra slo-mo video renders the men in blue subject to the scrutiny every man, woman and child must now endure. Tip: re-read every e-mail message before hitting send.

Kev claims no special insight into the human heart, or his own, for that matter, but “magical flags” land on our daily fields of play all the time. To not object is cowardly.