West Coast beisbol dogs at home been bery bery good to us. Seattle’s win over Boston Saturday night fattened the calf by 1,350 units, bringing the calorie count back up to 3,650. We’ll stick with this theme tonight, putting 1,000 halos on the underdog cherubim of Anaheim at home over the Rangers of Arlington. For entertainment purposes only, blow, Gabriel, blow!
(more to come)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Compline
We are putting 1,000 units for entertainment purposes only on the home seadogs of Seattle tonight against cross-continent rivals, the berry bloomers of Boston. Our last outing cost us 500 units, lightening the ship’s bursar’s burden to 2,300. The seadogs pit reigning Cy Young Award winner Felix Hernandez against John a Beckett (can dogs rid themselves of this troublesome priest?).
(more to come).
(more to come).
Monday, August 8, 2011
Huns and Vandals at the Gate
Where is Pope Leo I when we need him? The sainted pontiff was able to persuade Attila the Hun not to sack Rome in 452 A.D. Would that he would appear at Wall and Broad Streets and stand athwart history yelling “Stop!” Alas, the Vandals sacked Rome a few years later anyway and the Dark Ages were well on their way.
On the first trading day following Standard & Poor’s downgrade of U.S. sovereign debt to AA+ from AAA, which would imply higher interest rates because Treasury paper was now deemed less secure by the S&P Pooh-Bahs, investors flocked to the tarnished instruments sending their already paltry yields still lower.
Perhaps cynical investors reasoned that any agency that had rated “toxic waste” mortgage securities Triple-A could hardly be trusted with assessing the creditworthiness of the world’s largest economy.
But that wasn’t the reason. The real driver is the economy, stupid, to borrow the Clinton campaign mantra. Equity prices have fallen precipitously and government debt prices have risen not because S&P pointed out the obvious. Granted, the move by the rating firm may have had a difficult to measure psychological effect, but the outlook for economic growth is so tenuous that the S&P action, as so often is the case in momentous moves in asset prices, was just an excuse to dump shares.
Buttressing the outlook for anemic growth was the sharp decline in oil prices. S&P didn’t downgrade West Texas Intermediate crude.
Making matters worse is that President Obama is no FDR much less Pope Leo. “I welcome their hatred,” Roosevelt said of the Tea Partiers of his day. Or take Leo’s tack with Attila: “Now we pray that thou, who hast conquered others, shouldst conquer thyself. The people have felt thy scourge; now as suppliants they would feel thy mercy.” We prefer the former. The latter would only encourage the Vandals to complete the rout of the New York Sack, er, Stock Exchange, that is.
Having sworn off the stock market, we note a big win in the sporting realm Saturday, when 500 units on the Scarlet Metacarpals paid 700 units to bring the kitty back to 3,000. Tonight we’ll go against the bloody ankles from Boston with 500 units on the host (ess)Twinkies, for entertainment purposes only.
Note well, we shall delve into the mysteries of the Canadian Football League later in the week, you hosers.
On the first trading day following Standard & Poor’s downgrade of U.S. sovereign debt to AA+ from AAA, which would imply higher interest rates because Treasury paper was now deemed less secure by the S&P Pooh-Bahs, investors flocked to the tarnished instruments sending their already paltry yields still lower.
Perhaps cynical investors reasoned that any agency that had rated “toxic waste” mortgage securities Triple-A could hardly be trusted with assessing the creditworthiness of the world’s largest economy.
But that wasn’t the reason. The real driver is the economy, stupid, to borrow the Clinton campaign mantra. Equity prices have fallen precipitously and government debt prices have risen not because S&P pointed out the obvious. Granted, the move by the rating firm may have had a difficult to measure psychological effect, but the outlook for economic growth is so tenuous that the S&P action, as so often is the case in momentous moves in asset prices, was just an excuse to dump shares.
Buttressing the outlook for anemic growth was the sharp decline in oil prices. S&P didn’t downgrade West Texas Intermediate crude.
Making matters worse is that President Obama is no FDR much less Pope Leo. “I welcome their hatred,” Roosevelt said of the Tea Partiers of his day. Or take Leo’s tack with Attila: “Now we pray that thou, who hast conquered others, shouldst conquer thyself. The people have felt thy scourge; now as suppliants they would feel thy mercy.” We prefer the former. The latter would only encourage the Vandals to complete the rout of the New York Sack, er, Stock Exchange, that is.
Having sworn off the stock market, we note a big win in the sporting realm Saturday, when 500 units on the Scarlet Metacarpals paid 700 units to bring the kitty back to 3,000. Tonight we’ll go against the bloody ankles from Boston with 500 units on the host (ess)Twinkies, for entertainment purposes only.
Note well, we shall delve into the mysteries of the Canadian Football League later in the week, you hosers.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
C.C. Riders Unhorsed?
The Bosox are in rare territory today, that of home underdog, albeit against C.C. Sabbathia and the family Bronck. We’ll take the Fenway Fidos and John Lackey over the Doodle Dandies, speculating with 500 entertainment-only units. Our mythical purse saw 500 moths escape yesterday, cutting the treasure to 2,300 units, as the Bombers won their eighth straight 3-2. They can’t win ‘em all can they?
Friday, August 5, 2011
Job Growth Unleashed in Akron
Eldrick Woods returned to the ranks of the employed yesterday at the Bridgestone Invitational in Akron. So we know nonfarm payrolls added one in August.
In July, the beleaguered U.S. economy added 117,000 jobs, ahead of the 75,000 consensus but not enough to sate the demand from new entrants to the workplace, not to mention those that remain idle, which is 9.1% of us, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
What’s more, the work week was unchanged, which bodes ill for third quarter gross domestic product, and growth in hourly earnings is lagging behind inflation, which spells trouble for increases in consumption, the key component of GDP.
We would call the labor outcome a bogey, when a birdie is needed to move up the leaderboard. Take note, Mr. Woods. The caddy you dumped last month is now carrying the bag of the first-round leader. Hey, that makes two nonfarm jobs added to payrolls this month.
Our baseball picks have followed the stock market recently. The Bronx B-52s finished their carpet-bombing of the pasty panty hose, who remained colorless except for Guillen. That brings our imaginary pile to 2,800 units. For entertainment purposes only, we’ll put 500 units on the favored hemoglobin hose of Boston and Jon Lester over the visiting poker-playing pinstripers and Bartolo Colon of New York.
In July, the beleaguered U.S. economy added 117,000 jobs, ahead of the 75,000 consensus but not enough to sate the demand from new entrants to the workplace, not to mention those that remain idle, which is 9.1% of us, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
What’s more, the work week was unchanged, which bodes ill for third quarter gross domestic product, and growth in hourly earnings is lagging behind inflation, which spells trouble for increases in consumption, the key component of GDP.
We would call the labor outcome a bogey, when a birdie is needed to move up the leaderboard. Take note, Mr. Woods. The caddy you dumped last month is now carrying the bag of the first-round leader. Hey, that makes two nonfarm jobs added to payrolls this month.
Our baseball picks have followed the stock market recently. The Bronx B-52s finished their carpet-bombing of the pasty panty hose, who remained colorless except for Guillen. That brings our imaginary pile to 2,800 units. For entertainment purposes only, we’ll put 500 units on the favored hemoglobin hose of Boston and Jon Lester over the visiting poker-playing pinstripers and Bartolo Colon of New York.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Pick Your Poison
Since the stock market is home only to the brave now, let us turn to baseball. Our lockbox contains 3,300 units after Saturday’s loss. We’ll try to recoup with 500 units on the Pale Hose over the streaking Pinstripers.
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